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Getting an ex back can be a tricky thing to achieve. When you were the one who did the dumping, it can be hard to know how to make the first move toward reconciling with your ex. How can you tell if your ex would welcome a chance to get back with you? Should you take a chance and just hope your ex isn’t too mad at you to want to get back with you?

An even worse case is when you were the one who did the dumping and later found out that there was actually no real reason to dump your ex boyfriend. Sometimes we act in haste and find out later that the belief that inspired our actions was founded on a misconception or, worse still, a lie. When we look back, we realise that we should have been less quick to act; we should have instigated a calm discussion and looked at the facts without letting our emotions cloud our judgement.

Did you dump your ex for no valid reason and now want to get your ex back? Did you think your ex had done something wrong and dumped him without giving him the chance to defend himself? If you are wondering how to go about getting your ex back when you dumped him for no good reason here is a case study that will help you.

Sue was told by her “friend” Melanie that her boyfriend David had been sleeping with another woman. Sue took Melanie’s word at face value, after all why would she lie? Sue was so upset that she called David, told him she knew about the affair and never wanted to see him or hear from him again. Sue didn’t let David even say a word in his own defence.

It was only a few days after this that Sue found out from a real friend that the story she had been told about David being unfaithful was a complete fabrication. The truth was that Melanie was jealous of Sue because she had tried for months to get David to go out with her before he started going out with Sue. Seeing Sue and David getting serious about each other prompted Melanie to tell the spiteful lie that let Sue to dump David.

Poor Sue was mortified; if only she had given David the chance to defend himself. She hadn’t wanted to split up with her boyfriend, the only reason for dumping him was because she believed what Melanie had told her. As Melanie’s story about David going with someone else was a complete fiction, the split should never have taken place.

As soon as she found out that Melanie had been lying, Sue called David up and explained what had happened. David was still upset about the fact that Sue had dumped him, he was angry because Sue didn’t want to listen to his side of the story, and he was also hurt because she had not trusted him. David was not interested in Sue’s explanations and made it clear that the relationship was over for good as far as he was concerned.

Sue just didn’t know how she was going to get her ex boyfriend to come back to her. She missed David terribly and she was embarrassed about the way she had dumped him and the fact that she had shown so little trust in him. With David still seething, the situation looked hopeless but Sue took some advice from a relationship specialist and this is what she did about getting her ex back:

Sue’s first step was to write David a letter of apology. She told David that she took full responsibility for their breakup and promised that she would never behave in that way again. She told David that, although her behaviour could not be excused, she had acted in that unreasonable way because she was jealous; she loved him and because she couldn’t bear the thought that he had another woman. She reminded David that they had shared many happy times together, and she didn’t was to see all that thrown away because of one hasty action.

Once the letter was sealed and sent, Sue didn’t try to contact David again. She had to fight desperately hard to resist the temptation to call him, but she knew that in this situation the best thing she could do would be to give David his space. She had also been told that it would help if she gave David the chance to miss her, so she didn’t call him or text him.

When Sue and David happened to bump into each other, Sue was friendly but didn’t repeat her apologies. That way, the unpleasant memory of the circumstances of the break up could be allowed to fade. She didn’t try to press David to get back with her, but made it clear that she wanted to remain friends.

A little while later, Sue got tickets to a concert by David’s favourite band. She invited David to go to the concert with her as friends (with absolutely no strings attached). David accepted the invitation and the evening was a success; Sue and David both enjoyed the concert and Sue could tell that David still had feelings for her.

That evening was the start of a gradual reconciliation. At first Sue and David went out as friends, but simply being together made them realise they were meant to be a couple. Step by step, they grew closer and renewed their trust in each other. David got over his hurt and anger, Sue lived down her embarrassment, and their love became stronger than ever.

Getting an ex back after you have dumped him is difficult. If there was no real reason to dump him, you have to get over the embarrassment of apologising as well as convincing him that you would never repeat the unreasonable behaviour that led to the break up. The key to overcoming the difficulties in this situation lies in rebuilding trust, and if you can make your ex miss you as well, that is a definite bonus.

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